It’s All Or Nothing

Our blog series thus far has been focused on the best fat loss diet based upon your identity and the three things that have created challenges to being successful: discovering the identity that you believe and aligns with the life you want; strengthening that identity so it sticks; accepting it is not an all or nothing situation.

I briefly touched on how to discover your identity in our first part: define the traits you envision for your future self and identify traits you see displayed in someone else you admire. I gave some helpful tips and examples on how to strength your new identity in our second part, using my wife as an example.

Now it’s time to assess the third hurdle. The one that seems to trip everyone up on regardless of their path, goals, identity, or past experiences: all or nothing thinking. All or nothing thinking is the belief that in order to be successful at something you need to go all in, do it to your fullest at all times, and any deviations from that are a complete failure. This leads to neurotic obsessions when you’re being “successful” and self attacks (shaming, blaming, guilt, etc) when you don’t stick to your new plan 100% of the time.
A good example of this is when you decided on New Years to start that new diet. Maybe you chose Keto, Vegan, or Gluten Free. You planned out meals and made rules in your head based upon that new diet about what is acceptable and not acceptable for you to do. Then you followed those rules religiously (for about a week). That’s when the first misstep happens. Maybe it wasn’t in your control such as the recipe had honey in it and you didn’t even know until later, throwing you out of Ketosis.

Now what? All of the stages of grief kick in: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and even acceptance. Once acceptance happens you make a vow to be even stricter. You won’t eat out anymore. You won’t eat anything you didn’t make. You won’t ALLOW that failure to happen again, but then it does. An ingredient you’ve used comes to your attention as not being keto friendly. Cycle repeats.

Sound familiar? If it does you’re like 99.9% of the population. Our society has bred into us that we either succeed or fail and there is no grey area. The reality is, to create and strengthen an identity is more a matter of small wins consistently done. Just 1% changes made routinely towards your identity, make a massive difference in the end, but what about the ones made against your identity?

Who we are in the future is the sum of the actions we consistently take today.

Think of it as votes. Each action you take is a vote towards an identity. Making a single vote once a month or twice a year away from your chosen identity hardly denies your chosen identity. You don’t lose 20 lbs from a single salad and you don’t become morbidly obese from a single bowl of ice cream. Those singular votes will happen. The key is to make a majority of the votes, an overwhelming majority of the votes, align with your chosen identity.

No obsessions needed. No judge, jury, and executioner because you had some wings and a beer. Just consistent small steps to prove you are the identity you wish to be.

To Your Success,
Christoph Kettermann
Hidden Gem CrossFit

How to truly become STRONG

How to become truly STRONG

Do you find yourself struggling to put the cookie down, even though YOU KNOW it will only lead to one more day with love handles? Even though you made a New Years Resolution to lose 20 lbs, you just can’t help but order the 10-piece Buffalo Wings and the extra pint of beer when you go out with your friends over the house salad?


Do you have so little will power you just can’t stick to a diet? Well, yeah. Will power is a limit commodity and we use it constantly all day every day. Trying to use 100 pennies to pay for 3 meals a day, plus gas, plus a movie, plus your power bill will always come up short. Will power is the same way.

Does that mean you’re doomed to forever be fat, sick, and unhappy? Nope, not at all.
In our last post we talked about the top 3 things keeping you in a FAT identity. The first was discovering the identity that you believe and aligns with the life you want.

Today we will address what you do AFTER you discover that new identity: strengthening that identity so it sticks. When an identity sticks you no longer have to use will power to overcome eating that extra slice of pizza. It no longer becomes something you even do. The same way as someone who doesn’t use drugs looks as smoking meth, you will look at having an entire cheese cake to yourself: not who you are so you don’t doentity, you need to prove to yourself this new identity is YOUR identity and not a temporary set of actions to accomplish a temporary goal (like you have done your entire life until now). You prove to yourself this identity is you through a series of small wins that build upon each other until they equal a large action you associate with your identity.

These small wins need to be so small that it’s impossible for you to not do them successfully. If they’re not ridiculously easy you’ll likely put them off and revert to your old, comfortable (yet unsatisfying) identity and habits.
So, where do you even start? Creating a series of small wins is an overwhelming task by itself! The first step is look at your identity and decide something they will either always (frequently works too) do or always avoid doing. it.

To strengthen your new id
We will use my amazing wife as an example to help illustrate this step.
Her identity is a confident pioneer who empowers others. Something her identity would frequently do in her household environment is create games for her kids to play on their own that they enjoy. That is a HUGE thing to take on. Even just hearing that made me feel overwhelmed! Create games? That the kids will do on their own (our kids always want us to play with them as opposed to playing solo)? AND they will enjoy those games?! Insanity!

However, for my wife this is a reality for her identity. A confident pioneer charts new territory. They’re creative. They take risks and do things others feel scared to do. We now have our large win on the horizon! The next step is to figure out something that is needed to make this large win possible. I see three big tasks that need to happen. First is she will need to figure out what games the kids already enjoy playing (by their selves or with others). Second, she will need to find out what activities the kids do by themselves. Lastly, she will need to figure out how frequently she would need to create a new game to keep up with a child’s ever waiving attention span.

If we take the first part and break it down even further into a manageable task my wife can then have a small win. What would be a manageable task she can do frequently that will lead towards her figuring out which games the kids already enjoy playing? (I know some of you are thinking this is a small enough task already, and you’re wrong!).
She needs to write down each day what games the kids played that day and if they enjoyed them. She will keep this up for 10 days to find a pattern. That’s it: write down each day what games the kids enjoyed playing that day for 10 days.
I know this whole thing sounds like a TON of work. It really can feel that way. I’d be lying if I said it was easy or that it’s not the reason most people fail to make lasting changes.

That’s one reason we created Ripple: Lifestyle by Design. Our coaches can guide you along this path and take the weight of this process off your shoulders. All you have to focus on is one or two steps at a time and our coaches manage the rest.
If you want to make truly meaningful change in your life, schedule your FREE Intro call today!

To Your Success,
Christoph Kettermann
Hidden Gem CrossFit

Top 3 things keeping your FAT Identity

THREE things keeping your FAT Identity

Last time I spoke about finding the BEST diet for fat loss being tied to your identity as opposed to certain foods. Hinting that once you find that identity your actions can align with it and WHAM worldly fat loss success! It makes you wonder if it’s really that simple.

The answer is a resounding YES!

Simple, absolutely. Easy? FAR FROM!
Think about it, if changing your identity was a simple as changing from leathers to khakis then people would reinvent themselves and become millionaires overnight. They would lose 30lbs of pure fat and become fitness models and athletes on a whim. The idea is simple: change your identity, align your actions with that identity, then the outcomes (goals) will just happen because of cause and effect.

What makes it hard is three things: discovering the identity that you believe and aligns with the life you want; strengthening that identity so it sticks; accepting it is not an all or nothing situation.

The first challenge is discovering the right identity for you. If being a fit individual is one you can’t envision, don’t really believe, or feel is opposite of who you are, then it will never work. Maybe being fit isn’t for you, but is being healthy? Free of sickness, constant medications, your body aching all the time? See my point? Everyone assumes you have to be a certain way. You have to shoot for the stars. However not everyone is destined for being in the Olympics nor being a CEO of a Fortune 500 company.
So how do you discover the identity that’s right for you: both achievable AND supports the life you want?

It’s a process of first describing what the desired identity is like. What do they look like? What do they normally do? What do they avoid? Just like the previous post described a fat and sick person and what actions they take; you now have to put your imagination cap on and figure out what this new person looks like and what they do. It will help you discover their values and what they will do to embody those values: exercise or drink; prepare meals at home or dine out daily; host social parties or stay at home with a good book.

After you can envision (and document that vision) your new identity, it’s best to see how realistic it is by looking at others you admire. What traits do they possess and embody? Which ones do you admire about them? What things do they avoid doing that you associate with them being worthy of your admiration?

Combining these two steps is what leads to a successful identity statement. A short description of who you will be in the future through the actions you take today. I find it’s best when you have help as all too often we over estimate ourselves, capabilities, and traits and often overlook key aspects of what we truly value.

In my next blog post I’ll dive deeper into the second thing holding you back from the identity you need to live the life you’ve always wanted: how do you strengthen this new identity so that you don’t revert to your old one?

If you feel this process is one where you want some help, but don’t necessarily want your friends or family in on, you can always reach out to us at Hidden Gem to apply for our Ripple Program. We only have a few slots right now, but it’s the best way to find your identity and set the stage for the life you want.

Ripple: Lifestyle by Design is a program created to arm you with the tools and mentorship to conquer the hardest parts of your life. It’s a go at your own pace system, but you’re never doing it alone. We start off with a FREE intro call to get a better feel of your personal struggles and goals. Then you’ll be assigned a Ripple Coach who BEST fits your situation to give you every chance of success.

To Your Success,
Christoph Kettermann
Hidden Gem CrossFit