Our blog series thus far has been focused on the best fat loss diet based upon your identity and the three things that have created challenges to being successful: discovering the identity that you believe and aligns with the life you want; strengthening that identity so it sticks; accepting it is not an all or nothing situation.
I briefly touched on how to discover your identity in our first part: define the traits you envision for your future self and identify traits you see displayed in someone else you admire. I gave some helpful tips and examples on how to strength your new identity in our second part, using my wife as an example.
Now it’s time to assess the third hurdle. The one that seems to trip everyone up on regardless of their path, goals, identity, or past experiences: all or nothing thinking. All or nothing thinking is the belief that in order to be successful at something you need to go all in, do it to your fullest at all times, and any deviations from that are a complete failure. This leads to neurotic obsessions when you’re being “successful” and self attacks (shaming, blaming, guilt, etc) when you don’t stick to your new plan 100% of the time.
A good example of this is when you decided on New Years to start that new diet. Maybe you chose Keto, Vegan, or Gluten Free. You planned out meals and made rules in your head based upon that new diet about what is acceptable and not acceptable for you to do. Then you followed those rules religiously (for about a week). That’s when the first misstep happens. Maybe it wasn’t in your control such as the recipe had honey in it and you didn’t even know until later, throwing you out of Ketosis.
Now what? All of the stages of grief kick in: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and even acceptance. Once acceptance happens you make a vow to be even stricter. You won’t eat out anymore. You won’t eat anything you didn’t make. You won’t ALLOW that failure to happen again, but then it does. An ingredient you’ve used comes to your attention as not being keto friendly. Cycle repeats.
Sound familiar? If it does you’re like 99.9% of the population. Our society has bred into us that we either succeed or fail and there is no grey area. The reality is, to create and strengthen an identity is more a matter of small wins consistently done. Just 1% changes made routinely towards your identity, make a massive difference in the end, but what about the ones made against your identity?
Who we are in the future is the sum of the actions we consistently take today.
Think of it as votes. Each action you take is a vote towards an identity. Making a single vote once a month or twice a year away from your chosen identity hardly denies your chosen identity. You don’t lose 20 lbs from a single salad and you don’t become morbidly obese from a single bowl of ice cream. Those singular votes will happen. The key is to make a majority of the votes, an overwhelming majority of the votes, align with your chosen identity.
No obsessions needed. No judge, jury, and executioner because you had some wings and a beer. Just consistent small steps to prove you are the identity you wish to be.
To Your Success,
Hidden Gem CrossFit